here goes

why am I so insecure??? its sux big time. text marc tonight and of course he replied but he said at the end, have a good night will see you tomorrow. my being my insecure self thinks it the brush off. i just so want to cling to someone, to make me feel good and happy. i know that im tired had next to no sleep last night because I was thinking shit. and now i start the bull shit with marc, cause im home alone and want someone to entertain me and make me feel good cause i cant do it myself. why is it so bad to be by myself??? when will i get over it, cause i hate it i dont like feeling like this, feeling like i have to have someone in my life to make me happy. i know i dont, i just cant get it for some reason. i do so much want a man in my life cause they fix everything dont they. and now tony is messaging me and then i start to feel better cause im not alone anymore. see when i was seeing tony it was all good cause he use to contact me everynight and during the day.i dont get that from marc, its not that marc doesnt care, i know he does, hes just are far more secure person then i am and doenst need the contact. i do need it and its also nice to have. are all men like that???? maybe tony was the exception and not marc. i know im the exception more then anything, im insecure about men. just spoke to cynthia, she confirmed a few things for me, it sux being alone, marc is scared of getting attached, i thought that all along and she things he really like me. I have felt that for a while too. its funny, now that i have spoken to someone about it all I feel so much better. i would so like to have someone in my life now that is committed but i also know that it would be for the wrong reasons.